Todd Mauldin : Unlicensed Blues Philosopher

June was crap.

You guys may have dug it… but for me, was just a lousy month overall.  Crap at work, crap creatively… ran out of stories, ran out of time, ran out of energy.  Got mopey.  The blues come and blowed my spirit away.

But now it’s July.  And July is looking up.

The Hellbusters played 3rd annual Burning Girl party out near Yerington on the Walker River and it was super awesome.  Met a lot of new friends.  About twice as many people as last year, maybe even 3x as many.  People even showed up via helicopter!  We played a strong set (I thought) at Burning Girl, sold some CDs, got invited to do some media and other apperances later this year which was really gratifying.  I also got to play some songs with my friends T-Wrex and the Primitive Rhythm from SF on Sunday.  We burned the girl Sunday night.  We floated in the river.  We ate lots of food and drank lots of sodas.  We had only one sunburn casualty.  We made it back across the washerboard dirt road back to the highway, and to Reno, despite the right side mirror on the tour bus nearly falling off.

And now, it’s off to Blackhawk Solar Cook-Off at Taylorsville.  We only get a 25 minute set on Saturday 7/10… not sure why.  But it’s okay, I’d take a one-song set, the event is THAT much fun for us.

And then back to the other reality, which may or may not slide back into June-ness.  But I hope not.  Forward.  Always forward.  Like St. Joe Strummer said: “The future is unwritten.”

Or as the great HST said: “We can’t stop here, this is bat country.”

No new spoken word story this week.

Not that many of you were listening anyway; however I wanted to let the three or four regulars know.  I will post something soon.

picture from my old ipaq.

You just lost the game. :)

52 in 52 Spoken Word Story #6: “Cutting the Wire” … an almost-true spoken word thingy about four drunken teenagers conducting an amphibious assault on a ranch for the purposes of duck hunting.

Copyright 2010 Todd Mauldin

Apropos of nothing, here’s a picture of a drunken robot.  From my old ipaq.

52 in 52 Spoken Word Project Story #5: “A Mylar Red Balloon”, a spoken word thingy in which we meet a couple of young lovers.  Click above to listen.

Copyright 2010 Todd Mauldin and such.

52 in 52 Spoken Word Project Story #4: “Service Writer”, a spoken word thingy about love and loss in the dealership’s service department.  Click above to listen.

Copyright Todd Mauldin 2010 all rights reserved. 

 I learned a lot of things this week.

I learned:

1.If you have a dying nerve in a molar, it’s important to not let it go for a year, or when you go to the dentist they’ll use less-alarming adjectives like “pretty big” when it’s clear they really want to use “huge” when describing your abscess and then they’ll talk about “bone loss” and then they’ll have to shoot you about ten times in the mouth to numb you up on account of the ph change in the tissues surrounding the dead and infected nerves, then they’ll drill it and clean it all out, then pack it full of stuff they say is “medication” and smoke will rise and so will a terrible taste in your mouth, and then send you home for to take antibiotics and not eat anything hard or sticky, and tell you to come back in a few weeks where they’ll drill that bastard tooth again and clean it out again and pack it full of packing which is permanent this time, and put on a temporary filling and tell you to go see your regular dentist for a permanent filling.  They’ll charge about $1200 for all this.  And if you do this exercise as a sober alcoholic like me you’ll know you can’t really make use of the pain pill prescription they want to give you.  And when the numb wears off you’ll regret every jawbreaker you ever ate, every fight you ever got in or every time you didn’t brush your teeth and just in general feel like hell.

2.If you have recently made an illegal right-turn-on-red and gotten a ticket that says you have to pay $200 for your crime, you can go to the court.  If you go to the court on the day they say you’re supposta, which was this week, you’ll stand in a line awhile and then get told you oughta stand in another line to see the judge.  If you stay in that line until you see the clerk at the front of it, she’ll ask you why you want to see the judge over an illegal-right-on-red ticket.  If you say it’s cause you’re hoping for traffic school, she’ll say “here fill out this paper and then stand in that line”, and the line you’re supposed to go stand in is the line you were standing in before you were told to change lines. Then when you get to the front of that line, the clerk will say sure, you can have traffic school and you have 30 days to complete it, which will cost about $25 or so, plus you still have to pay the $200 which is what you came to court to not have to do.  But she’ll tell you in the long run you’ll come out ahead because making an illegal-right-on-red is a 4 demerit offense and could affect your insurance.  And oh mercy no, we don’t want that insurance affected.

3.If your kids go to one of those liberal charter schools like you hear and make fun of sometimes, and you show up with them for an outdoor carnival fundraiser there, you’ll see things like a woman wearing a pagan necklace painting a heart on your daughter’s face, and you’ll hear people asking for “vegetarian options” in the buffet line when all there is to eat is hot dogs and hamburgers and then you’ll see red beans and rice and greens there too and so you’ll helpfully suggest them vegetarians get down on some of that soul food and you’ll get looked at like you’re suggesting they eat a poopcicle, and you’ll also be subjected to high winds and failing cotton-candy machines and some smart-ass middle-schoolers who think you’re taking cuts for the bounce house when you’re just standing there watching, and then your son will be helped out at the knock-over-the-bottles-with-a-softball game by a nice woman who has straight razors tattooed on her neck.  It’s not for everybody.

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apropos of nothing, a drawing of a guy in a suit.  from my old ipaq.

52 in 52 Spoken Word Project Story #3: “Church Creek” - it may be about the environment, it may be about something else.  I’m not sure.  Click above to listen.

copyright 2010 Todd Mauldin. All rights reserved blah bah blah.